Bai Maleiha B.Candao

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Who am I?

My name is BAI MALEIHA BAJUNAID CANDAO.

I am a child of every word

which spells hope and joy

for every

thought.

I was crafted from an

inspiration that sprung from

my parent's love

for I choose to create

instead of borrow ideas

that are not mine.

I am a child of inspiration,

the sweetness of romance

and its heavenly dimension-

creating a writer with dedication.

Dear readers, I am a writer

and I am lucky for this gift of the

pen was heaven sent.

The rest about me I shall reveal.

I was born to a family

in Southern Mindanao, Philippines

who have expectations

that I would

never neglect.

Raised by a conservative family

and inspired by my dream to be

a professional writer,

my life trekked the ups and downs

of life with solid determination

and unyielding dedication to

master my own destiny.

For every step of my journey,

I raised the following

questions to guide my way

to where I ought to be:

What is my relevance in life?

What is my relevance in your life?

Have I touched your heart in

whatever way?

Have I lifted your spirit when

you were down?

Have I stood up to help you fight

your rightful cause?

Who am I for you?

Do you need my presence to

make you smile?

Do you need my words to

direct your sail?

Do you need me to light

your way?

Do you need me for whatever

right reason?

Of all the questions that I asked,

one of which marks

a spot in my psyche.

What is my relevance in life? This

question will carve a special role

that I must

ANSWER and fulfill.

I know what I want to be,

to create a story,

or breath into life an article

that will share connection

with the universe in the call for

justice and

peace wherever there

is unrest.

PEACE is the reason

that I wanted to use my pen

and share my thoughts.

The battle for peace is the

assertion of principles

that spell humanity in all its

justness and encourage

practice of such in every field

where human beings

interact with each other.

It is my earnest hope

that if I could give inspiration

to those in need,

and if I could heal the hearts

of those in pain, then

maybe God has blessed me

with the pen to bridge hope and

put a smile in the lips of the forlorn.

Sometimes, I feel when

I hold my pen that a mighty force

pulls me to the unknown

when I see images of war and

so much violence.

My heart cries in excruciating

rebellion wanting to

end strife of whatever form.

This gives me an idea

that perhaps I was born to write

and not to hide what ails me deep

inside. So without hesitation I composed

a piece talking about peace

in all its depth.

Some thought I was

just lip servicing

but why are tears falling

from my eyes.

Answers need not be too clear

to convince myself that I

live to write,

it is the synergy in me

that no man can ever stop.

There was no day

that I had doubts not knowing

what I want to be.

When I see vivid images of life,

I wonder how come I express

it with rhymes?

When I see a crying child,

my hand starts

writing my empathy.

I could not explain why I notice

the falling leaves and

raised the poser likened

to man. Why do leaves fall?

It must be nature.

Akin to man why does he falter?

Must nature always be an excuse?

There are simple events

in life that I find special. Non-writers

think there is nothing worthy

to squeeze from such scene. While

non-writers speak

in discouragement, I write

about the causes

of their emotions.

While they see me writing,

I see them as

reasons why my words come fast

and why I do not stop.

I am a writer and will always write.

Moments and events shall be

my friend.

Images will be my reminder

that it is time to ink my

mind and share a line

to complete with a purpose or

a mission.

a true character is everything.

The SAGA of Peace in Mindanao

Posted at 10:02 PM on September 10, 2009

Everytime the peace talks are stalled in Mindanao between the Government of the Republic of the Philippines (GRP) and the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF), I could not help but deduce that these would have serious repercussion on the peace process. In a nascent, it would negate all what have been started by the government to effect its efforts to balance economic equity for Mindanao.

Not only are time and efforts wasted on the part of the government and the leaders of the MILF, time will also lessen the physical efficiency of the Moro leaders, who have exhausted their time and efforts in dedicating their lives for peace, and will certainly die for peace, which they have always firmly stood for.

The late leader of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF), Chairman Salamat Hashim, died with unfinished mission. The generation of peace workers will continue but the sad fact is, as new minds fill up the space of the old and dead, different approaches will start anew, though the past idealism stays, but the strategy will vary from one man's mind to another.

Mindanao, despite its being the gold mine and breadbasket of the country, oftentimes has lagged behind in terms of socio-economic development. As such ,much of its indigenous inhabitants have been a devitalized people. Their economic conditions remain stagnant, their social and culture in jeopardy and their laws and customs endanger of disintegrating, due to perceived neglect and apathy from their so-called leaders.

Whilst it is acknowledged that the national government has worked extensively to make peace possible, it is the means of that goal that has always been questioned by many Muslim leaders not allied with the government. Many political analysts and peace workers from the private sector opined that in order for peace to truly take place, there should be less of military intervention employed.

The fear of "Muslim terrorism" has displaced many Muslim peace workers, labeling them negatively for it has put their works for justice and peace in jeopardy. While they work hard to settle disputes in their respective hometowns, other non-Muslim groups unite to form vigilantes who will use arms to counter the alleged "terrorism" that is a product of an anti-Muslim myopia against the Muslims in general.

Shared misery and resentment against a militarization scheme, this situation became serious for the past many decades which has continuously pushed Muslims to the edges of rebellion.

As far as Mindanao is concerned, the word development is one of the most abused terms in the context of "development programs" for blindly copying a foreign brand of development and modernism, in most cases, such development is found to be incompatible with the traditions, cultures and idiosyncracies or norms of the Mindanaoans.

Development, in the definition given by Professor Michael P. Todaro, means a multi-dimensional process involving changes in structures, attitudes, and institutions as well as the acceleration of economic growth, the reduction of inequality and eradication of absolute poverty.

Contemporary experience, however, shows that it is the opposite of what the people expect. For oftentimes, development program and projects have displaced and deprived the MIndanao people of the gains and benefits due them.

The whole episode points to the Mindanao development framework that pledges to build the region into a prosperous place. But still the Moro insurgency problem continues to haunt succeeding Philippine administration to the present. This despite the claimed of massive development programs being poured into the region to answer the cry of national discrimination in terms of economic inequity according to past and present leaders of the government.

I agree with the view that if ever development is to be designed for Mindanao, the architect must consider on the road map of development plan one which is drawn with a highly motivated, self-reliant, culturally diverse but unified communities. In such way, we are confident that the development programs will ensure ample and equitable opportunities for self-fulfillment in the region within the framework of a balance economy and sustainable development.

Essentially, what the people want is the kind of development where they are at the centerpiece. Literally means, it is the kind of development they will defined, enjoy and live for.

But the continued fighting in Mindanao will drain the resources of the government. By financing the war, necessary funds for the area of education and health services will be diverted to sustain war in this already embattled island of Muslim unrest.

Today there are no more wide tract of land being left. Thus development programs usually sit on an ancestral domains which belong to the people.

The most affected are the indigenous peoples who are forced to sell their ancestral and traditional landholdings to pave the entry of the multinational and politico-economic bourgeois capitalists. Without their participation in the planning and the whole implementation process, naturally the people would express doubts over the logic of the development projects . The people will never understand development if they miss out the opportunity to experience the benefits and privileges derived from it.

If the approach to solving the Mindanao problem remains a lip service, the unending saga will continue from generation to generation.

The Changing Role of Women in the Philippine Society

Posted at 10:58 AM on September 10, 2009

by Princess Maleiha B. Candao

Every woman is beautiful in her own rights. It is not the race nor her cultural background that makes her, but her principles and character will mark who she is wherever she will be. Talking about the Filipina is like painting a unique picture of who she is but not devoid of credibility for I am connected to her heritage.

THE FILIPINA AS A LEADER

The Filipina woman has marked a legacy of positive transformation from her past submission to authority figures to her present strong persona that makes her a complete character in the face of challenges as a working mother, who administers beyond the confines of her home, and manages people and resources as well in her work environment.

She is capable of handling dual tasks and still excels no matter what. Great women leaders like the late President Corazon C. Aquino, has ]proven to the international community that Filipina women could stand in the face of injustice against her fellowmen.

She is the institution behind people power or the Edsa revolution in 1986 when she met the challenge of the late President Ferdinand Marcos head on. Hers was not merely a courage displayed but it has instilled in the mind of the world that if a Filipina woman wanted to make a difference, she could stand for her people no matter what.

THE FILIPINA AS AN OFW

The Filipina endures the pains and trials of being away from her family to earn a living. Clothed with the determination to provide the best life for her family, she would accept whatever fate befalls on her, even work as a domestic helper although she has a college degree that she could use in her own country.

She seeks for a greener pasture not because of her own satisfaction but owing to her selflessness to better the life of her family. As a mother, the Filipina woman excels not only in the arena of women empowerment but empowerment of her family as well by teaching her kids to stand upright in the face of any obstacle to ensure a brighter future for everyone.

She is practical and selfless. She is beyond herself when it comes to the welfare of her family.

THE FILIPINA AS AN ACTIVIST

History has proven that Filipina women could face any form of threat to her country as demonstrated by Gabriela Silang, a Filipina heroine who joined the Philippine revolution against foreign colonizers. Although the normal Filipina is always submissive to authority, but locked inside her soul is the courage that unleashes itself once her freedom is pushed to the wall.

THE FILIPINA IN THE FUTURE

Education and heightened awareness to her constitutional rights, the Filipina will not yield to the odds of life. She could afford to stand up and move forward for her personal progress and that of her loved ones as well. The changes are considered to be positive for her awakened psyche understands her roles and limitations in the Philippine society. She immerses herself into the issues of peace, justice and balanced governance.

She joins action groups that rally for the cause of battered women and those who need help. In fact, the filipina woman has metamorphosized from her own shell to a bigger dimension that added glow to her profile, inspiring other souls to be like her. That is the Filipina woman. A woman that she has to be.

It Is Harder To Be Kind Than To Be Mean...

Posted at 12:21 AM on September 14, 2008

In this life, we meet a lot of people

from all walks of life,

with beliefs and standards that are opposite to ours.

Some tend to be antagonizing if their views are contradicted.

It does not mean that PEACE means agreeing most of the time

for we can find objectivity in differences.

We find answers in disparity.

We may choose our own battles,

and sometimes we need to stand up

for what we believe in or we will fall on anything.

We could not avoid them for they are a part and parcel of our social network..we find them in our work field, schools and other organizations where we belong. We do not need to avoid them for they will always be a part of the so-called CO-EXISTENCE. They add ingredient to the challenges of life.

To be kind needs a lot of effort. To be tactful needs more.

So as you live your life, always make a choice between being kind or being mean..kindness means thinking outside yourself...being mean is one easy way to drive people away.

There is a right place and time for everything..if you are mad at someone, let him or her know but do it in private.. fighting in public speaks of ill-breeding.

I know, It is easier said than done. I have always been very firm about my fighting stance on the important issues of my life. Turning my back away from a fight is so hard to do. The blood of Sultan Kudarat must be fuming mad inside me for giving up on anything. But eventhough I assert my rights by nature, I also do not turn my back on peace. However, I draw a line between battles that are worth fighting for or not.

It is better to have more friends than enemies. But do not go to the extent of being too kind to accept bad attitudes on your person.

You can be kind, but never be a coward.

Thought Provoking Quotes

Posted at 11:48 PM on September 13, 2008

Life is full of meanings and it varies from one person to another. Nevertheless, there are certain facts of life that we can all relate to based on our individual experiences...hence these following quotations:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charles D. Warner said: "Everybody talks about the weather,but nobody does anything about it."

REFLECTION:
I agree.We are all oftentimes generous in our criticisms,ranging from optimism to pessimism,but many fail to realize that nothing can be achieved by talking about something,but rather many things or dreams will be accomplished if there will be more actions than words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who has seen the wind?Neither you nor I.But when the trees bow down their heads,the wind is passing by."--Christina Rosseti

REFLECTION:
Let us equate this with public service or the need to have a governmental change in favor of those living below the poverty line...only a total change in the economic status of the indigent will make them appreciate government's policies and programs that aim to help them. Lip service will certainly not help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robert Frost asked: "For dear me,why abandon a belief?Merely because it ceases to be true?Cling to it long enough and not a doubt.It will turn true again for so it goes."

REFLECTION:
In application, we all endeavor different tasks with our faith in its consequence. Faith in one's dream will translate it into reality. But life is not merely faith---it is having the faith with conviction and no surrender.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, we must remember:
No matter what roles we play in life, it is not the playing that defines its essence, but the fulfillment it gives us. It is not only the intellect that needs assistance, borrowing Richard Watson Gilder's words:"Give me a theme," the little poet cried.."and I will do my part"....

"It is not a theme you need.." the world replied...

"You need a heart".....

Writing out of bitterness?

Posted at 11:25 PM on September 13, 2008

A friend once asked me, why my poems are full of heartaches? He was actually asking me indirectly if I write straight from my heart or I feel bitter about my life?

Reading between his lines, I thought of answering him, but it is best to answer through this article so that I could also answer those who have the same question.

I was divorced five years ago, not out of mutual decision but my very own. Battling a conservative family like mine which opts to preserve marriage rather than destroy it, was very hard.

Such goodwill is difficult to face and it was indeed an uphill climb.

My ex-husband was not perfect and so am I. In fairness to him, he did his part but there were certain irreconcilable differences that pushed me to make a stand.

As a principled woman, I will always have to live according to how I see life and not according to the dictates of the norms and traditions that I feel imprisoned of.

I got my freedom but not without much stress and pressure and that I think was my share of the bad karma for leaving a relationship that was still clinging. I accepted those things that befell me and those were challenges that a strong woman like me had to face.

For there are some standards that demand perfection out of my life system which stifles my growth and fulfillment as a person.

This is me. When I feel that I function in a box of expectation and that my movements are restricted to the point that I no longer hear my own voice, then that spells injustice for me.

FOR AS LONG AS I KNOW WHERE I STAND THEN I THEREFORE KNOW WHERE I SHOULD BE.

Am I bitter? NO, not at all. Why should I be? I am perfectly happy
with my two angels, my family and some people who go out of their
way to make me feel special.

I am indeed blessed to have them and for making me feel so loved and cherished.

I am always mind over heart nowadays unlike when I was in high school and college when infatuation was indeed a fad and a weakness.

But sadly, my college days were focused on the struggle for intellectual excellence, thus, love was relegated to the back seat.

Why am I writing poems on unrequited love themes? BECAUSE I AM A WRITER. A writer does not choose what to write. For as long as the mind is fertile and it can conceived themes that matter to most, then why not???

I am a passionate writer who gets inspiration from the two non-fiction facts of love:JOY AND PAIN.

I am just a writer and I write passionately.

The Secret Of Staying In-Love

Posted at 07:27 PM on July 20, 2008

One of the best books that I have read was John Powell's The Secret of Staying In-love. It capsulizes the importance of having a regular communication between a couple to sustain their feelings for each other.

Powell's secret to staying in love is COMMUNICATION.

He is right for a relationship requires a lot of communication to bridge any gap that separates two lovers who could not find the right words to express how they feel for each other. Silence is good, but it will not hold a relationship. The simple reason for the need to sustain regular communication is CONNECTION.

It is hard to love someone who refuses to open up his mind and heart. Doubts arise from relationships with less communication. It could help strengthen the relationship if the couple express their deepest thoughts and emotions for each other.

Visual Infidelity

Posted at 05:50 AM on July 19, 2008

It is past 9 in the evening and I am getting ready for my evening shower.I am spending time alone in my room as of this writing with my closest buddy in my solitude, my personal computer.

It is hard to resist the urge for me to translate my mind into words for what I am going to share is something that matters to those who value marriage and family life.

I am a member of one photo site for more than a year now but I am still shocked by the increasing number of women who have so much nudity on their sites.Why do they allow men's eyes to feast on them like a cheap commodity? Self-respect seems not to be in their vocabulary at all.

Men will really enjoy watching an open commodity,something easy in one click. WHY NOT? IT IS OPEN TO PUBLIC. My views on nudity is not a secret for I have posted this on my site. Only the man who owns me has the right to see my body.A woman's body is her temple.She must always protect her soul.Exposing her genitalia to the world would never speak well of her moral values,that is if she has better judgment at all.

Tonight, there is one thing that intensified my viewpoint on self-respect. I happened to see a site whose owner is married to a Filipina. This man posted sexy photos of female subjects on his site despite the fact that photos of his Filipina wife are also there,in one site,with his other past women. Past is past,I agree.But there is such a thing as respect for one's better half. Meaning, the past has no more room in the present for whoever he is married with has all the rights to his life now. Showing photos of past sexual partners will instantly arouse impression that the past is not yet forgotten. It made me asked myself how does his Filipina wife take all that? In simple words, I consider that act as a blatant visual infidelity.

Of course some of you will say it is not the actual "physical infidelity",but haven't he thought of his wife's feelings? I mean if I were in his wife's shoes, I WOULD NEVER ALLOW my husband to do that. Never. Loving someone is avoiding to do something that would hurt your beloved...that includes the past that has to be buried and not reliving it with those photos. The number of women in a man's life does not and will never make him greater than other men. It only shows how a man is so insecure of his masculinity that he has to parade the many women in his life to show off.

FOR WHAT? To show that he is a good lover.For me,and sorry to say this, but the moment that I find out that a man has this kind of reputation,I get so turn off that I would not even want to see his face,if he is an admirer.

Yay!Or shall I say Yuck!

Okay,that is their life as a couple.I do not have the right to question the man's moral values, but I am more focused on the moral values of the Filipina women, for those who were raised with a good family background would insist on monogamy in their marital lives.

However,there are many Filipina women nowadays who do not think along that line anymore and it makes me feel sad. They even have multiple sexual partners.

In marriage,it is important that both couples should be considerate with each other. A deliberate act that can hurt the wife or the husband should be avoided at all cost. Otherwise, silent resentment may build up in years and which would later turn out to be unmanageable.

In the first place,women must always demand respect in marriage.A good marriage stands firmly with the principle that respect for each other is the most relevant ingredient that could strengthen their union.

A sensitive husband should compel himself to refrain from actions that would destroy their marriage.

However,if the man could not give up his vices like what I have cited and hurt his wife in the process, then it is but necessary that the wife must act fast to preserve her self-respect and dignity. Marriage is a union of two souls. Any third party who will be allowed by any of the spouse to destroy that bond is a reminder that a rocky marital life awaits and alongside with this is a clear indication of the absence of respect in their union.

Women should be careful in choosing the man to marry otherwise they will end up with the kind of men who do not deserve them.

If you find your Mr.Right, then stick with him otherwise do not marry unless you are sure about him in every way.

Some will argue that loving someone is a risk, that one must be ready to receive pain and bear with it. I say that this is a wrong mental pre-conditioning, for setting the mind to expect the negative from one's partner will lead to a one-sided relationship. True love brings out the best in a person and it will strive hard not hurt the person loved. Pain is not a part of loving but it comes as an indispensable aftermath after trusting someone who completely destroyed your trust and confidence.

If a relationship gives you nothing but pain, then it is time to reflect on how much are you willing to accept or sacrifice for someone who does not love and respect your person.

Muslim Royal Culture:MARATABAT

Posted at 12:05 AM on July 13, 2008

Maratabat is a
Maguindanaon
or a Maranao's term
which means
"family honor" or
"family pride".It is
the core of all family
value system in the Muslim
dominated provinces
of Mindanao.

This is practiced very
strongly by the
Maranaos (from Lanao),
Tausugs (from Sulu)
and Maguindanaons
(from Maguindanao).

I have Maranao
relatives by affinity
from my maternal side.
The same with my Tausug
blood.
My father is a pure
Maguindanaon
royal blood.

For those who do not
know,the Philippines
has three major islands
called Luzon,Visayas
and Mindanao.
The former is the island
inhabited by Muslims.
Aside from the
Maranao,Tausug
and Maguindanaon,
the Banguingui and the
Lumad are also natives
of the island.
The Banguingui are
users of a traditional
boat known as vinta.

Maratabat could also mean,
"to die for one's honor"
and this would entail the
protection of the family
name.Family ridos
usually originate
from a member
of one's family
whose actions
has dishonored
one maranao,
tausug or
maguindanaon
family. Killing
follows and it
continues from
generation to
generation.

To stand up for
one's family name
is a birth right of
every Maguindanaon,
Maranao or Tausug
who comes from a
royal family.It is a choice
between death or a
good family reputation.
Whoever dishonors the
family must die---this is
the psychology of
maratabat among
Muslim royal
communities.

Titular heads of royal
families would impose
control over their female
members to ensure that
their name is protected
at all times.This could
result to an arranged
marriage between a
male and a female
who were seen
together in a
very questionable
location.

Princesses must not
always be seen in
public for they are
always a source of
rumors.

Maratabat in other
words is a war wage
against anyone who
would destroy a
Maranao,Maguindanaon
or Tausug's family honor.

To die for one's name
is common in the preservation
of a family's maratabat.

Ginakit

Posted at 03:56 PM on July 12, 2008

WHAT IS GINAKIT?

The term Ginakit is a Maguindanaon vernacular
which comes from the root word, Gakit.

Maguindanao is a Muslim inhabited province in
Southern Philippines. It has a colorful history on
sultanates and Muslim royalties aside from Sulu,
Lanao and other provinces in Mindanao.

Gakit means a raft of two or more of long
canoes or vessels which are heavily decorated
with various multi-colored buntings called pandala.

Pandalas or flags vary when put on display during
important occasions. Each color has a statement
to make and it is therefore the responsibility of the
master decorator to be knowledgeable on Muslim
royalty,for it would be a blunder if a certain flag will
be put on display on the wrong occasion and at the
wrong house. Meaning, there are certain pandalas
for royal families and different for those who are
not members of the royalty.

The pandala consists of sambolayang,pasandalan,
ubol-ubol and pamanay..

Loaded into the ginakit with the passengers
and the boat rowers are Maguindanaon
musicians playing various musical instruments
like the kulintang, gandingan, agong, dabakan,
unta and sagayan accompanied by a tambol
and agong to entertain the passengers especially
the members of the royal family and council of elders.

Ginakit is usually done during important occassions
like wedding ceremonies, when the passengers
belonging to the members of the royal clan are
transported from their respective homes to the
wedding venue.

I am a Rebel Princess

Posted at 11:52 PM on July 11, 2008

Salam!

I am a Muslim Princess by blood.I come
from the ancestry of Sultan Dipatuan Kudarat
and Shariff Mohamad Kabunsuan.

Any lady can be a princess.
But not all have royal blood.
It is the origin of birth and ancestry
that authenticate the breed of a royalty.
Not the title nor her wealth.

What is my point and why do I have
to come up with this piece of information?.
Simple: TO DEPICT THE TRUTH THAT NOT
ALL MUSLIM PRINCESSES NEED TO LIVE
LIKE A ROYALTY.

In Mindanao,a real princess need not act
like one at home.. for it will not lessen her worth
as a person. She can cook and help clean her home,
manage all details and still remain as her complete self.

This article aims to educate those
who are not from the Philippines on the
reality of royalty in Mindanao. Present
royalties should not be likened
to their past ancestral times
when gold and silver flowed
like water and wealth was the
abundant language of power.

Mindanao,one of the three major islands of the
Philippines where I belong is rich with
natural resources but not all royal blood
families are affluent.

Sad to say that those who rule are those who
have political power and not those with royal blood.

In other words,I want to convey the truth

that royalties in Mindanao have their share

of the economic and political woes. While many want to

declare themselves powerful owing to their political

power grabbed forcefully to monopolize their

control and authority, I would prefer to be just an

ordinary human being who has no power

to rule but has the heart to respect and

accept people for who they are regardless

of their economic status and role in life.

Everyone of us is capable of treating others

with royalty for no one person is above anyone.

No royalty should act superior over a non-royalty.

For me, it just a matter of honoring my ancestry

and giving recognition to where it is due.

But in practice, I am just a lady who

will not bow down to leaders with distorted

ways and means of ruling their people,

but I am eternally supportive to noble causes.

I am Bai Maleiha B. Candao.
You can call me Bai.
I can be your friend
not unless you opt to be my enemy.
Whichever you prefer, I am ready.

After all, we are EQUAL in the eyes of God

and as individuals with legal rights,

we should know our limitations.

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Bai Maleiha B.Candao

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Blog

The SAGA of Peace in Mindanao

The Changing Role of Women in the Philippine Society

It Is Harder To Be Kind Than To Be Mean...

Thought Provoking Quotes

Writing out of bitterness?

The Secret Of Staying In-Love

Visual Infidelity

Muslim Royal Culture:MARATABAT

Ginakit

I am a Rebel Princess

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